We all have been taught the magic of setting goals and achieving them, however, we usually work so hard to achieve goals only for the outside world like — money goals, fitness goals etc. But have we ever tried to make goals for our internal world? How about having a goal to feel more grounded, content, at peace etc?
All the wise men that have ever walked the planet before us have time and again told us “lasting progress/change must always be inside out and not outside in.”
That’s precisely why I am hoping to turn this whole practice of making a goal plan and visualising your way to achieving it upside down and move it towards achieving emotional wellbeing! We rarely focus on how we want to feel. We believe that once we achieve something we will feel happy. But how often have we encountered the so called rich and successful people, who have achieved everything but yet feel empty and depressed?
Hence, it’s obviously the other way around- when we feel good we definitely do good.
Here’s a small thought test- Have you ever noticed that when you FEEL GOOD, everything miraculously works for us? Like suddenly, the whole world seems bearable and even beautiful! Tiny things don’t affect us as much. But when we are upset, everything starts to irritate us. Ever wondered why?
It is simple- because the change, although temporary, was rooted within your feelings, which are always internal. Therefore it is sensible to make a goal list that is focused on our feelings!!
So my plan is that by this year end, I wish to feel more grounded and more content. But how do I go about achieving it? Here’s a blueprint of how I or anybody can do it!
Write your feeling goals:
List out what you want to feel in simple terms and put a time frame . For example- I want to feel grounded ,content and experience more self love by the end of 2020. Ensure your list isn’t too long.
Define what it means to you personally:
Terms like grounded , content or self love are rather broad and highly subjective. Hence, it’s essential to define them for yourself. Eg- Grounded for me implies being in alignment with my body and not getting overwhelmed or swayed easily.
When have you felt this before & doing more of it:
How will you know if you’re feeling that emotion now? You can only know it for sure by having a past benchmark. Hence, for me, I’ll try to recall when have I felt grounded in the past. What was I doing then and then I’ll work towards incorporating those grounding exercises into my daily life. I personally felt grounded when I walked barefoot on the grass, hugged a tree and took deep breaths in the past. So I’ll make room for these activities every day.
The tell tale signs:
Notice the small changes in your behavior, quality of decisions and life in general. We often get so used to the minute alterations that we hardly notice the huge difference over time. It would be good to record your feelings and bodily sensations in a journal in order to compare and map the progress. Eg: while noting in my journal I’ll write — when I feel grounded, I feel a sense of calm, my heartbeat evens and I become more aware of my breath.
Once we start feeling good within, it’s easier to achieve material goals like that of a great house, that car, that job etc. This is so because we aren’t leaving the final result of “I’ll feel good when” for the end, but rather building it along. Hence, we won’t be endlessly running after that beautiful transient “happy” feeling that can be tapped into at any time when we reconnect with ourselves.