Have you ever felt not good enough?
At some point in our lives we all have and although in moderate amounts this feeling propels us forward; however, most of the world suffers from the excess of this one thought- am I even good enough?
Self-belief can be defined as the trust and confidence in one’s own abilities.
So what makes us doubt our own abilities? Why is it that despite knowing ourselves so well, we still fall into the ditch of feeling not good enough? And who are we not good enough for- others? Who decides what’s good enough and on what parameters?
There are no simple answers to these questions. However, attempting to find answers to them will get us closer to unlocking our potential. You see, we are all a product of our experiences which encapsulate how we were treated as kids, if we were compared to others, society norms of behaviours and in general other events that cause us to compare ourselves to others in some way or the other.
Little do we realize that with every small comparison, we are diminishing our self-belief and killing our confidence. But, in the world that ranks us, judges us based on our achievements, how do we get to the point of increasing our self-belief and confidence?
The answer is actually so simple that we overlook it. Would you believe it if I said that all you have to do is keep and live up to your own small promises each day to build self-belief?
It’s true, keeping a small promise like- I’ll make my bed today after waking up, and actually doing it will send a signal to your subconscious that HE/SHE DOES WHAT THEY SAY AND I CAN TRUST THEM! This small signal will have compounding effect on your self-belief and confidence as you keep up to your promises.
Here’s the thing- who do you think is more dependable- a person who keeps his promises or someone who never does what he says?
The same is true for your subconscious. It only depends and trusts you when you live up your small, tiny promises. The more promises you fulfil, the more its trust grows in you! What kind of promises are we supposed to keep? And how many? Well, to start off they should be so simple that you can’t not keep them. For example – I’ll wear my XYZ shirt today or I’ll keep a bottle of water in my bag.
With every passing day, you can increase the scale of importance. Just like how we entrust our kids with small tasks first and as and when they can handle things, we give them more to do! Similarly, when we keep small promises, we can slowly keep bigger promises.
However, avoid getting obsessed with check boxes- the promises are not a to-do list that has to be checked off! That’s not the aim and might give us anxiety. So limit it to a maximum of 2 really SIMPLE, REALISTIC, ACHIEVABLE promises!
Over time, with practise we will see that not only are we able to make more promises but are also getting better at keeping them, thereby trusting our ability to live up to what we say. This small practise helps us believe in ourselves and increases our confidence!
Remember- Small promises kept = increase in self- belief!